A few words about numbers

I was so sure I would keep this blog up, but business school has proved to be very draining. It's hiring season at my school, and I am realizing that creativity is just a tedious liability. The world of the corporation is controlled by people who are frightened by creativity and want me to just stop coming up with new ideas and focus on my spreadsheets.

Numbers are no problem for me. Like a child exposed to swimming at an early age, I learned to count and never looked back. In 4th grade I had a massive meltdown over the addition and multiplication of fractions. To this day, I just can't do it in my head, so I try to turn everything into a decimal to avoid it.

Most of my creative pals are less comfortable with numbers. Many of them have an aversion to anything related to numbers. Most have money troubles as a result. I believe my contribution to the world of business will be to reach out to the hopelessly numerically paralyzed masses, and lay on hands that they may once again walk freely in the world of mathematics.

Business school has a lot of psychology built in to the curriculum. They are testing for the presence of oddballs like me. INFP (very rare and far too sensitive for business) and off the charts creative, I really don't belong there. I am doing the best I can to contribute something useful to the world. I will be so happy if I am able to do something of lasting value with my degree. Hiring season is such a depressing series of ego blows. I have resorted to an old Christian saw to keep my fragile sense of self in tact as I receive each rejection: "It is God's will."

In the meantime, I have vowed to reach out to my gay brothers and sisters at the LGBT center in Hollywood. I want to try to teach a class about financial fitness for folks who have a lot of trouble dealing in the cash economy of the street. It seems like it would be of good use and will make me happier with my extremely costly degree.

The best laid plans of mice and men are oft gone ugly.